Have you ever had the impulse to throw up on someone? (and I’m not talking about in college when you were after a night of partying)

Specifically when you’re at the height of emotional despair and someone tells you to just, “get over it”? What do they know anyway!?

Asshole!!!

Now you’re frustrated. GOOD!

Their lack of empathy actually may have done you a service. Albeit you may not agree at the moment.

Or perhaps you are stuck in shock – like a deer in headlights – uh oh – now you’re good an frozen. Don’t worry there’s a solution. It’s easier than you may think.

Allow me to explain…

When we’re stuck in a disempowered state, feeling numb and foggy. It’s probably the body’s defensive state, a freeze response. It is a biological process, created to shut you down to keep you protected from pain.

It is a good thing unless you are not able to function because the threat was 20 years ago. Maybe it was just 3 years ago, last week or you can’t even identify a time you had to freeze. The point is the threat has passed but your body is still responding as if it is happening now.

How to Tell You’re In A Freeze (Shut Down):

• Digestion isn’t working properly
• Mental Fog – forgetful or can’t focus
• Dissociated – can’t stay present
• Lethargic – chronic fatigue
• Depressed – Numb
• Sleeping too much or
• Insomnia

When someone tells you to just “get over it” and you respond with a flare of frustration or even mild annoyance THAT is actually GOOD!

That totally ignorant comment mobilized you out of the freeze response and into a fight response!

Yaye, you’re no longer shut down. It’s a start. Now moving that stuffed (internalized) anger into healthy aggression is for next weeks chat…

Freeze is the most extreme survival state.

It’s natural to shut down if we cannot fight or flee because the threat is too great. It’s a beautifully orchestrated biological process, it’s absolutely NOT cognitive. Your body is doing the work of protecting you automatically. We have discussed the autonomic nervous system previously.

Movement out of the frozen state doesn’t come from cognitive solutions. (I am speaking from experience!) Mainly because the reptilian brain is controlling the show here. Nor do you have to surround yourself with rude people.

The question becomes:

How can I move out of freeze states without having to endure such lack of compassion? How can I navigate out of freeze on my own?

The great news…

You can move out of freeze on your own, slowly and safely.

Here’s how…

Start with a sound. The sound of a ship coming into the harbor. For whatever reason, we call harbors safe. If you happen to know where the term “Safe Harbor” originated, please leave it in the comments below. I’d love to know.

Back to you…

When a ship is in the harbor and it’s a really foggy day, so much so that none of the ships can see each other.

You still know they’ll dock safely because…

They can hear the sound, you probably know it. Yes, the fog horn!!! Hear it? (VU) vvvvuuuuuuuuuuu

Remember:

Curiosity is the key to changing your brain. (We’re laying down new neuropathways around how you perceive a threat).

So with a little curiosity and now that you know how to track sensations. If not think about also downloading my free e-book for greater detail.

An Antidote For freeze:

Give this exercise a try with the attitude of curiosity. (no expectation or agenda, just what might happen…)

Inhale normally

Exhale and make the sound VU (VVvuuuuuuuuu) for as long as the exhale naturally lasts

Repeat 3-4 times

Allow the air to fill your lungs naturally, don’t force your breath.

Track the sensations in your body. Is there a difference?

Do you notice if your chest relaxes? belly? any tingling? How does the environment you’re in look? Do you notice anything new? Allow a couple minutes to explore in this way.

Then repeat the sound again for 3-4 more rounds.

Track your experience once again.

This time what do you sense? How are you doing overall? How are you in your body compared to before you started this exercise?

This should be subtle, at times you may notice a significant difference and other times not. The catch in coming out of freeze is an increase in anxiety. Which is why we shut down in the first place. So gentle. Less is more. Slower is better.

If you have any questions don’t hesitate in commenting or reaching out.

Please know that coming out of freeze can be a process of moving through fight and flight as well because you couldn’t manage a response at the time of the threat. Your body may still want to react to the stuffed down experience. It may require more personalized attention.

If the above exercise has been helpful please share it with a friend that might benefit.

Helping to heal the world, one nervous system at a time. We are all in this together!

 

We are living in the wild wild west of a digital age. (Oh and the explosion of cross fit.)

Cafes are populated with non-engaged humans on devices.

We are stimulated enough without the millennial hipster elitist-not-elitist cuppa $7 coffee. The fix very well could be the pretentious digital ritual, not caffeine.

In an age where you can get the perfect bean, brewed with exacting measurements and high tech procedures. There are still variables that even young geniuses can not control.

Will the crops be overwhelmed with bugs and destroy your carefully planned organic crop? It’s possible and likely to happen. My bet is with mother nature and her wrath of whether or mold.

Can you plan for all the variables and conditions of life? Are you really in control?

Can you just push through it if you blow out your back because your ego decided on 50 more lbs to deadlift today? Yeah, no, you’re toast. In bed but a bug or immobilized by pain.

Your body said, “Fuck You!…Now you have to listen”. We will get to how shortly.

What about being conditioned to control our personal environment? Thinking it will create a sense of safety.

Or we have the socialized attitude of fixing what’s wrong – “I just gotta get this shit done…then I can relax.” Has your body ever just said, “screw you?” As in crashed because you wouldn’t take time off? Now you have to take time off.

What if it’s YOU?

As in the physical flesh and blood vehicle carrying that high tech brain around..

Yup, you get a virus or crash of exhaustion once you finally take that vacation. So much for pleasure. 

Can you plan for it? Are you able to control (or better yet communicate with) your nervous system when it starts falling apart from neglect? Your autonomic nervous system is basically your operating system.

Wait, nervous system…? Huh? Right, you can’t “fix” what you have no awareness of, especially because it’s automatic. Besides nothing is broken.

You are overwhelmed.

When you experience a bug do you sleep it off? Will you take time to meditate? or slow down? More than likely not. Just saying…it’s an observation from seeing dozens of smart and creative people, like you, every week for the past 2 decades.

Most people have the attitude of being able to “push through” because they are “tough” and they get shit done.

After all, if you live in WLA you probably run a cyber company that is about to change the world. You absolutely can’t afford to take time off to smell hippie-dippie roses.

Ok, maybe you just got laid off from a startup and need to hustle to find another cutting edge company to stay relevant in the marketplace. Understood. All systems go.

But grabbing all the tinctures and wellness products in Whole Foods won’t help your nervous system from its inevitable crash if you ignore the warning signs.

The body breaks down when overwhelmed. This is the disease forming process. 

First, you may become immobilized with strep or the flu and simply “crash” for no reason. Do you know anyone this has happened to?

The – crash – I’m not talking about the stock market either.

I’m talking about your body. Yes, this is the third time I’ve mentioned it here. It takes about that many times for most people to realize they have a body. (Not Joking, God, I wish I was!).

Your body isn’t just carrying your head around. Yup, your good ol’ fashioned body, as in the rest of you. It breaks down given enough toxic stress.

How did you get to this point you wonder?

“Neglect my body? The thought doesn’t register…”Don’t understand” most people think, initially. The macho program is running. Get it done, the revised edition.

You are probably thinking, “But Amy, give me a break, I eat organic food. No sugar or junk. I get my coffee from the hipster peeps that know what they’re doing to a T, and I work out..hard, it’s a great release”… “Oh and I feels so good afterward”. Yet, here you are overwhelmed, searching for an answer.

There’s no quick fix. I don’t have a red or blue pill for you.

The Good News…

…your body is brilliant and so is your mind. Understanding the language of how they communicate is what you will start to explore here.

You’re not a machine “doing” all the right things is meaningless if you don’t pause and listen to the signals of your body. It’s trying to reach that head of yours to say, “I’m overwhelmed!”

 Your head persists and you ask, “What do you mean you wacky woman? Listen to my body, wha-?? I don’t feel anything!”. exasperated  the narrative continues…“Just freeeking tell me, what to DO!

Ok fine, I’ll humor you. (because if I say there’s nothing to “do” you might just throw your computer at me!)

What a great question, thank you for asking!

Let’s explore…

…but first

Here are some signs telling you that your nervous system is overwhelmed:

Oh, no doubt you figured it out… YOU are your nervous system 🙂

• Shallow breathing
• Sleepless nights
• Nightmares
• Panic attacks
• Easily startled – you jump at the slightest disturbance 
• Excessively sweating or cold
• Poor digestion – constipation or diarrhea (IBS)
• Itchy skin/eczema or dermatitis
• Irritability – Anger (easy to snap)
• Low Immunity – you’re getting sick frequently
• Migraines
• Road rage

Your reptilian brain may be in hypervigilant which is why you can’t consciously control, fix, do anything (with logic) to change these symptoms. Have you ever tried to tell yourself to stop hyperventilating everything is ok…? I know, it didn’t work…

You have probably felt out of control for some time. Perhaps even adapted to functioning at this new state of discomfort. But it is exhausting. Eventually, your body will give up, break and health problems creep in. Toxic stress is damaging.

Maybe you’re still reading this because it’s no longer tolerable and attempting to function in this disorganized state of overwhelm is not an option anymore. Great self-awareness, it leads to understanding and self-compassion. So congratulations!

Exploring possible solutions:

Notice: I used the word explore as a reminder it’s not a quick fix, mostly because you’re not broken! 

What emotions are surfacing?

Are you willing to get quiet and listen? Hear the wisdom of your internal physician because s/he has the answer inside.

It may not be what you think, it quite possibly may be unexpected and revealing.

Are you willing to sit with what emerges? Because it is already present, ignored or stuffed down so deep it’s cut off your life energy.

Your chest or belly might be tight from it pressing down. If you’re lethargic or depressed this is also a signal.

Do you internalize your anger?

You’re not alone most people stuff it way down to be polite. We’re all conditioned to be “nice” we are civilized after all. So we suffer and become mad at ourselves or worse start hating ourselves. It’s a vicious cycle to please others. There is no reward.

What is your relationship to anger?

How do you handle anger when it arises? 

Drop down into the section below your head (you got it…your body) and feel if there’s anything going on. Any sensation? Do you notice anything at all about your body? Tension? Contracted or tight belly or chest? An expansion, open areas?

Notice if you’re aware of anything at all inside…

Do you feel an emotion arise? (sad, angry, disgust, fear, grief, happiness) Perhaps you feel it as a tightness in your chest or pressure pushing down on you as water wells behind the eyes…

You’re starting to listen.

Here’s something to DO:

In the spirit of explorations and listening. (not fixing)

Write it down!

Journaling is a great way to self-awarenesses. 

It can be short, bullet points. The things you notice that are different, better.

Tune into your body-mind. Listen and connect with conscious awareness via this physical self-inquiry. What exactly do you notice, maybe it is not so specific because this is new to you. It’s ok.

If you don’t notice anything at all keep trying to sense yourself from the inside. 

Try squeezing your joints and notice if you can feel the pressure of your own touch. That’s a sensation! 

Be gentle with yourself.

Strong emotions or sensations become more tolerable when you slowly tune into yourself and feel what is already present.

It’s important to note that there’s nothing wrong with you and there’s nothing to “fix”. Sometimes we feel strong emotions leaving us fearful and out of control. It’s a scary thing, it’s natural to press on and ignore them… to let the body bare the burden.

But there is a breaking point, eventually.

Take control of your experience by getting to know yourself in a new way. Your nervous system and reptilian brain. Continue to learn how to track sensations as we continue these posts over time.

Don’t let toxic stress take rob your vitality. Download my free e-book: How to Destress in 7 Simple Steps.

Thank you for trusting me in this process of Wellness Alchemy.

Inside ME? A Reptile!? (I know you’re thinking I’ve really lost it).

Yes, you have a reptile living inside you. It’s not as creepy as it sounds…

….and it speaks and science will back me up!

Yup, your little reptile has a language you probably can’t understand, (if you even know it exists!)

I’ll explain…

The reptilian brain protects you, it keeps you safe in a world of uncertainty and lurking danger. It is the oldest part of the brain. Sometimes referred to as the “animal brain”, “lizard brain”. I’ve even heard it called “crocodile brain”.

The actual reptilian brain consists of the brainstem and the cerebellum.

Since this is not a neuroscience blog I’ll spare you the irrelevant details.

You’re probably reading this because you are already overwhelmed and stressed out. soo…

What is relevant:

Being burnt out, exhausted and feeling irritable. Your reactions may go from 0-60 in a flash of anger. Or you are lethargic and can’t think clearly because brain fog has highjacked your mind.

The energy has drained from your body and you feel like a sloth after an all-night buffet binge. Too much? Maybe you’re a normal neurotic and just need a few tips to de-stress.

In any case, you might be feeling frazzled or freaked out because there is a literal or perceived threat to your survival.

PS. a perceived threat is just as real to the reptile. Which means it could be an irrational – or a rational – fear that has you chasing your tail.

Just to be clear. An example of a rational fear would be a hungry monstrous Grizzly Bear in your living room. RUN. (No, never mind you won’t outrun a bear. What was I thinking?!)

An irrational fear would be the world is unsafe. This is a program that is running in most peoples system with and without awareness.

Remember, you don’t grok the reptiles language….more importantly, you have become an animal.

Well, you’re not alone. Most of us are operating out of the lizard brain more than we’re aware.

Human Beings are animals…and that’s generally good news.

The only problem is; that there is very little danger lurking in the bushes in our modern age.

As “civilized” humans we longer face death on a daily basis, in a literal sense. Many of us perceive a threat and are stuck in that animal brain.

We can’t think clearly and the world is a little too dangerous. We can get stuck in survival patterns of fight, flight and/or freeze. These are the states controlled and operated by the lizard.

Non-cognitive states, which means you can’t think your way out of a highly stressful situation (one that could be life or death). Period.

Your animal brain isn’t differentiating between a Tiger chasing you or your sitting in the dark scared because your brother locked you in a closet when you were 2 years old. The threat is a threat and it is real to the reptile, in both cases.

You are scared, probably confused and your body is flooding with sensations you may or may not be aware of. In both cases, you are in imminent danger.

Both are real, both are creating a biological response to the treat as if it is happening now.

You may or may not be aware of that fact. You might even think it’s impossible because you’re well over 35 now and no longer scared of the dark (unless you are) AND there certainly isn’t a Tiger in your living room!

So let’s explore:

1. How to become more in touch with your inner reptile
2. How to communicate in a language that can be understood
3. Why sensations are so important and how to feel them
4. How to be in a relationship with your Self to become your own medicine

What Are Sensations?

Literally, what you notice as a physical sense internally…in your body.

Most people, in my experience, even those who work with their bodies….such as yoga teachers, pilates instructors or movement therapists have a level of inability to sense into their bodies.

I’m saying this to help take the intimidation factor out.

It’s not easy we’re not socialized to notice our body as much as trained to be intellectual. AND we should take pride in our developed neo-cortex! Why not  🙂

The fact is the inability to drop down into the body and sense is a factor that contributes to a limited life experience. There is so much more going on than can usually be perceived.

Sensations are a doorway to pre-egoic states, before forming briefs and before a sense of self (identity). Sensations are a wordless knowing of who we really are.

So the question becomes…

What would your life be like if you could be centered in the present without a survival defense keeping you in your head? Who are you behind the defensive identifications? (it’s rhetorical, for now)

The language of the primitive reptile is sensations. Bodily sensations. 

You can have full access to your inner reptile when you are able to understand and communicate together via sense awareness. It’s not totally known why but the body’s sensations seem to be the strongest communication channel.

For now, we’re working purely with physical sensation, meaning what is happening IN your body.

The Language of Sensation:

(Here are a few sensations you may feel in your body)

• Prickly
• Tingles
• Warmth/Cool/Cold
• Waves
• Tension/Tight/Gripping
• Lightness/Heaviness
• Burning
• Constricted/Open/Expansion
• Buzzing
• Relaxing

A simple exercise to grok your body’s experience and speak with your lizard:

Remember the last time you had a pleasant time doing (something active is best) what you love to do. OR if you aren’t active, recall the most pleasant memory you have.

Take a few minutes to engross yourself into the memory

Now, notice what you’re aware of in your body….any sensations?

WHAT are you aware of?

WHERE do you feel the sensation in your body (belly, chest, head…)

Drop down into your body right now, let the story go. sense what is happening inside.

Can you list any sensations from above or anything else – any pleasant sensations?

Allow yourself plenty of time to track internal sensations and stay with any that are especially pleasant.

It can also be a general sense of “goodness” you don’t need to be specific. If you aren’t able to notice sensations it is ok. This is a new language and it takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself. You also have to feel safe enough to drop down into your body. So if you can’t feel anything it’s ok. Try a couple minutes each day and notice if something changes in the next week.

IMPORTANT – when tracking sensations reinforce what is pleasant, really take your time to pause and notice what is good. Too often because of the simplicity of this exercise people want to go on to the next thing.

The lizard says “yeah but…..”

This exercise is gently letting the animal brain know that pleasure exists and therefore there is no danger.

Reptile can relax (go back to sunbathing or chillin’ under a rock).

Hyper-vigilance is when your primitive brain hasn’t realized you are now safe. With the language of sensation, a little practice and a lot of orienting to pleasure you can let the reptile know you’re safe.

You are safe and you are alive, or you wouldn’t be reading this. Yes, it’s still possible not to feel safe, but you are. You are alive and you made here – now.

• Again, imagine or visualize the last time you were engaged in a pleasurable experience. Remember the event or activity in as much detail as possible. It might just be a knowingness of it occurring. Then drop into your body and notice what is happening now, in the present. Any pleasant sensations?
• Again, this is now, present tense.
• Become aware of sensations takes time if you don’t notice anything it’s totally ok!
• Perhaps pull out some clothing with differing textures, corduroy, velvet, silk, cashmere, cotton, polyester, spandex…. whatever you can find. Run your hands over the various textures and find one that is the most appealing.
• How do you know it feels “good”. See if you can find what is pleasurable about it inside your body.
• Explore the language of sensation as often as possible. Especially when you are noticing pleasure. Drop down into your body and ask yourself “how do I know this is good?” Notice the specific sensation of good…. is it tingles, openness, widening chest, deeper breath, softer belly etc….

When you explore in this way you are speaking to your inner reptile and explaining that there is safety, that you are no longer locked in the closet, that was then this is now, that there is no tiger lurking and you can get back to the business of living life with more vitality.

For a detailed 7 Step Process to Destress Download my FREE e-book here.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to engage. If there is anyone in your life that would benefit from these simple exercises please forward this page.

Leave me a comment or question. Reptile to Reptile 🙂